Here too long-My Past Lives and Me

I'm on vacation with my family, and the reason I bring this up is because while saying hello to one of my baby cousins my aunt commented that he looked like he was watching me intensively, like he knew me from a past life and was trying to figure out how he knew me. As soon as she said that he started crying and my instant thought is "Must not have gotten along with him lol"

I've always been told that I was an old soul, though I used to never think much about it since the people who said that would still treat me like my age. But aside from acting like an opinionated teenager from the moment I was born I feel like there have been other things that have hinted towards prior lives. For instance, the blend of my need to travel and the feeling that I don't really have a place to belong has hinted that I was perhaps a nomad in a past life. Trust me, I'm not just spouting some loner BS. I just don't get sentimental about where I plant my roots, for lack of a better phrase. Sure, I enjoy my time living where I'm at, but I know when it's time to move on, and I don't get sad when I have to do it. Funny thing is I haven't moved since I was a baby and I was way too young to remember where I lived before that, so I've lived in the same town and in the same home for as long as I can remember. 

Another thing I've found interesting is that when someone mentions witch trials I always think of fire, when as an American I should be more associated with hangings. That might also explain my relationship with water (to dispel the fire I that may have been used to kill me?) 

I was once told by a medium that she sensed I was an Irish man in a past life. I wonder what else I could have been? My gut is definitely telling me I have zero trace of royalty in me, which I know is something that a lot of people with the slightest interest in past lives hopes for. What difference does it make if you were an Egyptian princess or the Duchess of France? It's not like you get to benefit from the only things you're interested in. Looking into past lives isn't about the cool titles you had then: it's about the experiences you got and how they carried over into the current life.

The Gemini with poor communication skills

You don't have to be Wiccan to be familiar with Zodiacs and horoscopes. Based on when you were born you fall under certain signs, with the exceptions of those born on cusps, and that is supposed to tell you about the personality of that person. Obviously, people are far too complex to be boxed into one of twelve zodiac signs, but I've always felt that zodiacs speak true to some degree. There's a lot I see in myself of the description of a Gemini: I'm a jack of all trades yet master of none, I hold the "multi personality" like complex that the twin sign naturally has, my mood can potentially change really quick, and I'm definitely the kind of person that uses humor as a coping devise. But there's one really big element to the Gemini, something that you see in every description no matter where you go, that I feel like I lack: communication. Every since I was a preteen I've considered myself to be the quiet type and the thought of socializing with people I don't know terrifies me. Without going into a long list of examples I tend to avoid talking to people as much as possible: texting and the internet are saviors to me.

I think a lot of the reason I hate talking to people face to face is because it requires eye contact with strangers, and that for some reason bugs me. Even when dealing with customers at my job I can only look people in the eyes for a couple of seconds before I feel naked. Maybe it's like the Adam and Eve story: When I'm with people I don't know that well I'm aware of how naked I am, but if I'm talking to friends or family I don't take notice of being in my birthday suit.

Going off topic. I mean, if it were a minor trait of being a Gemini I probably wouldn't be as bothered by it, but because communication and socializing are such a major part of who a Gemini is I feel like I'm failing to live up to my zodiac sign. If that weren't bad enough, my Chinese zodiac sign ALSO says I should be a great communicator. Are the two just supposed to cancel each other out or am I supposed to be extremely good at communicating? I hope it's the first because I'd rather hear that than be a failure of a Gemini, because I love being a Gemini. It's so funny that I am one considering how much my mom wanted twins when she was pregnant with me (she wanted two kids but to only do labor once. Smart). I feel like I'm so in tuned with every other aspect of it besides the communication department, and again that is so huge with Gemini's

Does anyone out there get something like this with their signs?

If zodiacs aren't your thing, then please don't bother answering, because I don't want to hear anything along the lines of "It's just a horoscope. You're being stupid," What if every time you thanked God for something someone told you, "Actually ____ did that. Don't be an idiot," Respect my beliefs and I'll respect yours.

Hello world.

This felt like a good idea when I actually made the blog, but now that I'm here I'm having a hard time making a good introduction. I've never thought of myself as the kind of person who was into blogs. I mean, if I can barely keep up with writing in a journal, something made only for my benefit, then why should I have better luck with a blog where other can take a dump on me, or completely ignore me.

I mean, given that the world of the internet is free to criticize what's basically a public diary, why do people blog? Is it for sharing? For some petty chunk of fame? Do some people think their lives are more interesting than they actually are? All of those reasons are quite possible, but none of them are the reason why I'm here. I guess the reason I decided to give this a shot is because part of me lonely. Not in the broad sense of the word: I do have a tight, yet small, group of people I call friends (a title I am very selective in handing out), my relationship with my parents is above average though certainly not perfect, and there's even a guy I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But there's a chunk of me that's been thirsty for something else.

As you can see by my title and name, I clearly wear a cross around my neck religiously and would go to church every day if God would allow me...Actually some people like that would love to see people like me burned at the stakes, or hanged since we're talking about America. Witch, Devil-worshiper, nymphomaniac...I've heard them all, and though I don't mind the first and last term so much I prefer Wiccan. No, I'm not some 15 year old kid who's dabbling into it because it looked cool on TV, but yes I enjoy dancing around the woods naked when the opportunity arises. I could talk forever about what I've learned about Wicca and what I think about it, but that's part of the reason I've made a full on blog.

The other reason? Despite how many years I've identified as a Wiccan, I've never been able to sit down and talk with another Wiccan about Wiccan stuff. It's not really something to talk about where I grew up, and though I've come out of the broom closet at my school there hasn't been anybody who's familiar with Wicca as well. I don't have any interest in joining a coven, because putting the Wiccan label aside I'm too independent to want someone else to tell me what to do and when: that's what my mother is for. What I want is to be able to talk to others and exchange ideas, thoughts, experiences, in a non-formal, non face-to-face environment. Forums are too crowded, and covens are too formal (almost religious). All I want to do is talk about Wicca with other people who know what they're talking about, like talking about favorite foods or movies. Maybe I can even learn something from you guys.